As many of you already know, we had to say goodbye to our dog, Java, last week. It was arguably (and surprisingly) one of the toughest and most heartbreaking life events our family has had to go through to date. What a shock to find out that I cared far more than I knew about this four-legged black beast that always sat in front of the sink while I was cooking or plopped down in the middle of a patch I was trying to weed or laid right over the board game being played or waited for me, back end wagging, smile on her face, at the bottom of the stairs every morning when she heard I was on my way down.
I believe I can speak for both of us when I say that Danny and I still aren’t ‘dog people’, or ‘pet people’ in general, really, but Java captured our hearts a little bit every day during her short three years with us. The children didn’t need three years to be smitten; they loved her from the beginning and forgave her every trespass with treats and scratches, and Java grew into her heritage as a German Shepherd quite nicely and quite by accident, despite us not knowing what we were doing as first-time dog owners.
Java’s life was going along doggedly until last November when she spotted a deer in the woods during a walk with Danny. After a quick chase, she came back to our yard limping and yelping. Not being able to walk on her back left leg was cause to bring her to the vet. Java hated the vet’s office on a good day and though she always walked through the doors happily enough upon arrival, as soon as she realized where she was, she would turn around and try to walk right back out. Thus during this emergency visit, she was absolutely not allowing the vet near her and it was suggested we arrange for a sedated x-ray.
Seeing as how the next day was Caleb’s scheduled surgery, I put Java’s problem out of my mind and it stayed out for the next five months. During that time, she incrementally improved from walking on three legs to limping to seemingly being all healed. However after busy or extremely energetic days (so, all the time), her limp became more pronounced and we believed it was time for that x-ray. The images showed chronic injury of an ACL tear and we were told the options were to leave it alone to continue to mend or elect for surgery. We chose to leave it as it seemed it was improving, albeit very slowly.
Fast forward another four months and wouldn’t you know Java injured her back right knee chasing a ball in the yard. After a week of self-convalescing in her crate all day long and hopping about on three legs, we knew we had to bring her in for another x-ray and fix at least one of her back legs surgically. That’s when an ordinary Thursday appointment turned into an extraordinary diagnosis.
Cancer. In the time between the x-ray in March and the one in June, Java developed bone cancer. Each set of x-rays showed both back legs from multiple angles, so when they compared the latest scans to the earlier ones, it was clear that a lesion had grown on her back left leg in as little as four month’s time. Now our poor puppy was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She wasn’t going to have surgery for the ACL tears that she had in both legs because the more pressing matter was the cancer, but she couldn’t have one back leg amputated because she would still have the ACL tear in the remaining leg. Being that osteosarcoma is one of the most aggressive and painful cancers a dog can have, it was likely that Java was never going to walk again. We were devastated.
No one told Java this, however, because she continued to chase the squirrels, the football, the BBs from the airsoft guns, the rabbits, and us. She continued to run-limp to the front door whenever the doorbell rang so she could greet the newcomer. She stood on her hind legs so she could peek at the children as they swam in the pool. And she continued to do her level best to walk over to the stairs every morning to say hello to me.
How does one make the decision of when to let their pet go? I’ll spare you the details of our agonizing and second-guessing and just say that it was utterly agonizing and we are champion second-guessers. Java had so much light and life right up until the end, but we knew we didn’t want her to suffer or watch her vitality be snuffed out by cancer. Instead, after she spent a morning doing so many of the things she loved (going on a car ride, licking up a pup cup, playtime with each of us, almost catching a rabbit, begging and receiving bites of banana bread, and following her girls), she went to sleep in Anna’s arms, surrounded by the rest of us giving last scratches and soaking her fur in tears.
Rather than waxing poetic about her behavior or characteristics, I’ll leave this list of some things Java loved, tolerated, and hated and then, just in case you aren’t already crying, I’ll share a video Jake put together for us.
Java hated:
Baths
The vet
Being left out
Java tolerated:
James
Her kibble
The vacuum and mop
Being told to ‘wait’
The hedgehog we had briefly
Her nails being trimmed with a Dremel
Anna holding items like pencils or hair elastics (Java would go up to Anna and just take them out of her hands)
Wearing sunglasses
Being pet, she preferred scratches
Having to go in her crate, usually because we were leaving
Java loved:
The girls
Danny
Cheese, peanut butter, yogurt
Airsoft guns
Balls being thrown, but especially the football
Hide and Seek
Any food Anna was eating, ever.
Letting us retrieve any ball she let roll down the street
Greeting everyone in the morning
Her tug toy
Going to see her boarding trainer and pals
Being picked up from boarding
Walks in the woods
Pennant
Watching over the yard
Chasing any wild animal that came on our yard
Being with us all the time
Click on the link for A tribute to Java and maybe have your tissues ready.
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