This week we’re going to play a game called, “Who Said It?” It’s going to go exactly like you think: I will type out real life conversations that have been had in this house and you are going to guess which child said the punchline. This will be entertaining for two reasons. One, I don’t have to write about anything new, and two, it will be fun for me to see who you think said what. 

1. We were sitting around the kitchen table completing the family Bible reading, but we’re currently in Isaiah and I had to confess to the children that I didn’t understand very much about our chapter. Then one child mentioned they are in Acts for their personal reading and it was amazing all the bits they’d forgotten or never paid attention to before. Thinking this child was going to bring some elucidation about our chapter to the table with their comment, they then admitted that they knew their thoughts were unrelated but just wanted to share. I thanked them very much for the irrelevant comments and decided to just ask a few more children where they were in their personal reading. Matthew, Genesis, and Exodus were the answers. Finally, I asked one more child which book they were currently reading. Looking around the table, this child responded, “The Hobbit.” 

2. Anna looked at one of her siblings and asked, “_____, why do you look different?” to which that sibling responded, “Oh, it’s my socks; I don’t usually wear long ones.”

3. This child was practicing labeling countries of a certain continent using a computer program. They got it down to 100% within 18 seconds. “That’s great, but even if you could write them that quickly on the test tomorrow, the teacher wouldn’t be able to read them,” I reminded the child. Said child retorted, “Oh, Mom, I’ll know what I meant.”

4. “I can’t wait to work. Isaac and Ellie are always talking about people at work who don’t do their jobs. I would be such a good worker; they could just hire me as manager.”

5. This child and I were grocery shopping and putting items from the cart onto the belt. I had had a bad night and some pretty busy and stressful days before this, so as I absentmindedly put another item on the counter, I sighed, “Man, I’m so tired.” Incredulous, my child replied, “You’ve only put two things up! I’m doing all the work!”

6. “_____, what new thing did you do at the gym yesterday?” I asked, curiously.

“I threw up in my mouth,” came the unexpected reply. 

7. “Okay, how does she not hear what they’re saying when she’s just across the boat from them?” asked one sibling to another while watching a movie.

The other sibling had a perfectly reasonable answer, “Plot ear plugs.” 

8. While discussing some of the children’s progress in remembering to turn off the oven after use or not leaving cookies in to burn because they weren’t paying attention to the timer, one child was at the bottom of the rung. Another sibling tried to be self-righteous about it, but I tamped it down by saying, “You only just learned this lesson yourself!” There was an audible, offended gasp by that child which was incorrectly interpreted by their sibling since they commented, “Yeah, _____’s never learned that lesson!”

9. After reading the blurb about an upcoming concert, I asked this child if they were interested in attending. “Well, if I’m going to be enlightened, then I better go.”  

Alright, well that’s enough examples for now. As you can see, I live in the House of Humor, where sarcasm and silliness reign. Please leave your guesses as comments, and next time I post, I’ll reveal the comedians. I hope you enjoyed playing my little game as much as I enjoyed looking back over my list of ‘funny things my kids say’ and choosing some amusing ones. 🙂