Milestones

It has recently come to my attention that my readership has doubled! Four followers! Although it is quite a landmark moment for me, it is most certainly a lapse of judgment on your part. When influencers reach certain viewer counts, they take the opportunity to remind everyone of who they are and why people should consume their content. Given that I remind you of who I am in every post, it’s a mystery there is even one of you still here. 

Anyway, you want to talk about followers, here’s an update on some people I follow [around] on a regular basis:

If we had a dollar for every time Danny was asked, “how’s retirement going?”, we’d have enough to start a retirement fund. What amazing activities is one supposed to instantly avail themselves of to be able to answer that question to the awe of the asker? Based on recent events, one response Danny could truthfully give is, “This is the hardest wreck I’ve ever dove.” Based on another recent event, one in which the person to whom he promised “for better or worse” accidentally dropped a crucial boat part into the ocean that he then had to dive to find, he also could truthfully say, “Ask me if I want to do this.” Are these amazing enough activities for you? Both events required diving, both gave him something to do, but only one of them gave him butterflies while the other increased his heart rate. I’ll give you one guess to figure out which was which. 

Jake has been at his new job for over two months now. What he actually does still escapes my comprehension, but when I do listen to him, I hear words and phrases like, “shipping”, “packaging”, “documentation”, “phone calls”, “shadowing”, “locked myself out of my work email”, and “forgot the paycheck was actually for the week prior”. Seems like graduating magna cum laude was a bit of an overqualification.🤪I won’t say I enjoy watching him struggle to get up every morning, but if I had a dollar for every time he zoomed off in a hurry, I’d have enough to start an energy drink fund for him.

 Isaac, to his delight, is all too often underrepresented in these updates, so aside from saying he’s still on track to graduate in his lifetime, enjoy these ‘proof of life’ photos. 

To my four followers, forgive me if I’m repeating myself, but it is often very hard to give individual updates on the girls. So much of what they do, they do together: orchestra, sports, work, attend college classes, and share secret handshakes. As much as I enjoy following them to their different concerts and games and listening to their tales, I equally enjoy following them up to their room when there are too many males in the house. 

Despite all the sharing, there are a few ways in which they forge their own paths. For instance, Ellie earned her first paycheck for her art and got her first commission.

On the other hand, Anna hit a milestone every student can relate to. While the girls were sitting in class one day, a slip of white made its way across the desk from Anna to Ellie.

Enter Anna’s mind at your own risk.

Speaking of risky, James decided to both turn thirteen (!) and become a soccer goalie this fall. Now, I follow him to every game, pace up and down the sidelines, cringe when the ball comes near him, then enthusiastically clap and cheer whenever he makes the save (which he does quite often), and breathe again. Rinse. Repeat. 

He may be a decent goalie, but wagering with Caleb is not paying off for him. An overheard conversation between the two of them went something like this:

“Give me any name and I’ll sing a popular song with that name in it,” Caleb challenged James.

“Okay,” James accepted, “ ‘Tonga’ .“

To make it more interesting, Caleb turned it into a bet, asking for one dollar if he could come through. James agreed and Caleb belted out, “Happy birthday!”

If you’ve been following our family for any amount of time, you’d know that when a child turns ten, they are allowed to become scuba certified. Caleb’s time finally came. Sixteen chapters of bookwork and tests, four pool dives to practice skills, and one open water dive at Nubble Lighthouse in Maine later, we have a new diver in the family!

Actually, we have two new divers in the family. Surprise!

If you were on the fence about my insanity before, my madness should be pretty obvious now. Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. One of those tricks is how to stuff your body inside a wetsuit. As we were gearing up, Caleb aptly said, “I feel like I’m inside a rubber band!” I understood the sentiment, though trying to pull on the wetsuit and gear and move around, I felt (and looked!) more akin to the blubber of a whale. It is a miracle I did not dislocate a rib getting set up. It is also a miracle they let this geriatric lady dive. Did I panic? Yes. Did I have water leaking into my mask? Yes. Did I almost lose sight of the instructor underwater? Also yes. Did a fin fall off my foot and the instructor had to retrieve it? Yes, again. Did I earn my open water recreational diving certificate? Miraculously, yes. If I don’t get a Caribbean vacation out of this, then I’m never 👌ever again. 

There have been many ‘firsts’, many milestones reached this season. Thank you, four followers, for sticking around. To reward you for making it to the end of this long post, here are some lovely photos of fall in Hudson, NH where no crazy can be detected.